Jack Nicholson’s sequel—nautical edition. /// Taken by me, walking many docks during my yacht charter years //// Cortez island, British Columbia, 2019

As a seasoned career artist and children’s book author, like 99% of other artists out there, this has yet to sustain my full income needs. Just read my bog post that will give you a current pulse on the publication industry, as well as this other Substacker’s brilliant post.As for a lot of professional hard-working artists out there, our sales are down—but I still have gotten some recent large-scale custom commissions (like Frank Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe) here and there which keeps my hope afloat these days which I am so grateful for. Nonetheless, an inverse equation is happening here: my art sales have been slightly lower this past year (due to people having less discretionary income) while inflation is higher and I have a mortgage and more bills to pay (because adulting). So, I really need to prioritize my hospitality work as my a prominent job more than ever right now. Thus, enter this “job search.” To supplement my art career, I have always had independent contractor work throughout the years—ever since I left college 15 years ago—and now, after 12 years working as a freelance yacht chef and stewardess/chef for UHNW families, I decided to take my skillset to a permanent land estate position. I needed to finally graduate from yachting and stay tethered to land, not just because I now have my dog Totem, but for a lot better reason (which I reveal in the 4th paragraph). So, I signed up and interviewed with several UHNW staffing agencies who were all enthusiastic about putting me forward for jobs that arose in my skillset (especially having a yacht background)—but, omgosh, torture of landing just ONE of these positions was not something I was prepared for.

First, my search started in my home state of Colorado and surrounding states. Not that many opportunities were available, so nothing secured. Then, to be around more job opportunities, I flew down to my old yacht stomping grounds of south Florida and stayed with a friend for 2 weeks while searching for work in either temp yacht jobs or land estates. Close calls for temp work but nothing came to fruition in getting hired. I even got to do a test chef job for a family on Fisher Island (the most expensive zip code in the USA lol but I personally think that place is way overrated). I even utilized my professional network and reached out to several captains I knew to see if they had work—still, nothing came of that. Then, I flew up to NYC to better my chances of being prioritized as a local candidate for the New York and New England market (fun fact: most private estate chef jobs are congregated in FL, NY, CT, MA and CA—most UHNW families reside in those states). Again, some close calls but, ultimately, nothing. Now, I am back in Colorado living with my parents trying to save money, taking up babysitting work in the ski resort community (which I have not done since my early 20s). 4 months and over 370 positions applied to—dependently through dozens of agencies, independently through Indeed, and other yacht job sites I’ve used over the years—all down the drain I feel like.

I’m a work horse and yearning to find a job has left me scraping in my stall, foaming at the mouth, ready to go mad—“Let me run already!” This has been the most demoralizing, despairing and dodgy process of finding a job in my hospitality sector since I left college. You really start to doubt your self worth at this point and questioning your sanity: what you may not know about yourself that other people do and THAT is why they are not hiring you. It’s twisted. Your imagination starts to run wild. Seriously, I was beginning to think: did these people find a Deep Fake of me on the internet in a compromising position or did they go through my Facebook the past 10 years and find a stupid picture of me or comment about something political that does not align with their beliefs? I’ve realized that this is not a case of examining “what you are doing wrong because you are the common denominator between all of this.” You just can’t apply that excuse to this current economy because there are tens of thousands of young professionals just like me going through the same turmoil! It’s a supply and demand issue: an oversupply of candidates spoiling an employer who gets handicapped by all of these choices. The frustration has humbled me to the rubble. Thank goodness I have things that fill the void, that give me a daily sense of joyful purpose. Walking my dog an hour a day, talking to a close friend or family member, staying with my parents back in Colorado and working my current babysitting jobs (which I’m so grateful for) —that’s what sustains me. There is also one more thing that gives me much needed purpose my life right now…

As I vented in the title, going out to the forest to scream at the top of my lungs would be so cathartic amidst my job search in the months leading up to Christmas—but I don’t think it would be so good for the little life growing inside of me right now. Only my immediate family and close friends have known about this little gem of a secret the past 5 months. It’s my new purpose in life and it keeps me going in this crazy world. That is the bittersweet irony to the agony of trying to pay my bills this past Fall: growing a baby inside of me and feeling super “productive” in that sense, yet, feeling kinda worthless and shut out from being monetarily productive in the outside world at my age of 37! Trying to make decent coin while applying for jobs as I started to grow the most beautiful living asset within me—oh, the cognitive dissonance is glaring is it not!? She or he (not sure the gender yet) gives me solace at the end of the day when I feel like my life is a little out of control (as a lot of people’s are feeling, I’m sure). I do have my health and amazing family and friends, though—I’m “rich” in that way, because one’s health is the true wealth, as they say. Nonetheless, I am praying to God this chapter of my own personal economic recession will be over so I can comfortably support my first born next year when I pursue solo motherhood as an SMBC (that story coming later). In the meantime, I’m over the niceties of showing a resilient spirit and being so stoic during this process. The whiplash I have experienced from recruiters and prospective employers is like being in an abusive relationship—and I know I am not the only victim of this toxic hiring (or lack of hiring) culture happening right now. That’s why I started surfing the internet to try to find others to commiserate with and—wow!—I soon found a a treasure trove of similar stories lamenting what is happening right now. An abundance of Reddit and YouTube channels show some of the most qualified people have been suffering in this environment for years now. I was just late to the commiseration party….

These guys are right: do not believe these idiotic economists that say we have a “strong job market”—they are being paid to fudge the numbers and not being forthright about the real statistics of unemployed qualified people in this country. Just like politicians and the medical industry, you have to look at economists with a side eye. Talk to the civilians, not these other people who are getting paid to gaslight the American worker.

Again, I’m not alone. I’m not ashamed to air my story—this is not my dirty laundry, it’s the dirty process of getting hired in America right now. Work for yourself if you can—because this is an “Employer’s Market” (and almost half of the job posts out there are fake). The this why I am SO grateful I have my art and books to somewhat sustain me when I can’t find work in my secondary career as a private chef. And bachelors degree shmacklers degree—I could name drop my Alma mater (top tier on the nation) and it still does not bolster my-already shining credentials. I’m also not bad looking, have charisma, very interpersonal, I don’t get nervous in interviews, I’m emotionally intelligent and expressive. Usually these things help get people get jobs. But y‘all, in 2024, this still is not ultimately helping getting me get a job. Employers are entertained by how many candidates are applying for their positions and it’s almost a sick flex for them to take us on a wild goose chase, showing up to several interviews and still not land the position.

Also, is anyone else getting annoyed by recruiters pulling your references—especially when you are close to landing a job but nothing is secure? This hiring hellscape has made me want to scream at recruiting agents (in my head of course): “Please stop reaching out to my references unless you know I got the position—it’s so fickle in the beginning of anyone getting hired these days and I would rather not bother my former bosses this much! You are notthe only agency to contact them these past 4 months I have been applying to jobs—they have probably been contacted a hefty amount of times. If I was an employer I would be glad to reccommend Whitney Anderson as an excellent candidate but with people constantly reaching out to me I would be a bit annoyed and confused after awhile, thinking, “Why has she not landed a job, yet??”

My advice: remember you are not alone. Tap in to your current social capital to find opportunities—nothing like mutual referrals!! No one wants to deal with the cold reality of recruiters and HR in 2024 that either knowingly or unknowingly exploit the efforts of qualified individuals seeking jobs.

Getting advice from others: I’d say the only way for me to take seriously the opinions/advice of others is to have each of you sit down for 2 hours with me in a coffee shop and hear my story (this essay is just the tip of the iceberg and does not give the nuances of my situation). Only THEN will I allow one to give me tips and tricks on how to land a job in this demented market…

In the meantime, I know I am not crazy. I am not alone—and neither are you others out there who get this current job landscape and wondering if “the American Dream” is becoming a relic of the past…

One of many yachts I have worked on. Yachting has been one of the best experiences of my life and such a great side job to my art career these past 12 years. I'll miss it....

THE LOWER 48 vs. ALASKA (BEAUTY EDITION)

“Honey, if you’re a 7 down there, you’ll feel like a 10 up here!”

In my old stomping grounds and birth state of AK, 13 years after my “Were you in 17 Magazine?” moment, a very flattering question by a very clueless villager women. Never before (and never there after) has there been such an ignorant remark so dearly held as a memento. 

I‘ll never forget when I was about 19 years old in the waiting area of a tiny village airport on the Aleutian Peninsula. I had just left a “neighboring” village called Chignik — about an HOUR’S plane ride away — where my family fished out of the past 4 generations. These village airports are frozen in time — as are so many of its people, like this one:

“Were you in 17 magazine?”, a lady quipped as she walked by me.

I laughed nervously and said something really lackluster for a comeback, “Umm…haha! Noooo, I‘ve never been in there — but thank you.”

Clearly that women had not left the village in a long time if ever, to allude that I was a model. I dispelled her curiosity quickly (but I should have milked it — heck, she could have asked for my autograph and that would have been hilarious). Nonetheless, everybody has that one remark in life that remains an ego boost and that one was mine back in 2010. What a memento. I never considered myself a 10 — more on a sliding scale between 7 and 8. But it’s all relative when you are in Alaska.

That sentiment has been magnified even more over the years as I have personally dubbed it at the “relative-beauty quotient” in Alaska. That quotient reflects contrasting beauty trends between the Lower48 and Alaska. So, I started reassuring my friends who are feeling down about all the competition out there: “Hey, if you are a 7 down here, you’ll feel like a 10 up in Alaska.” It’s like a big fish in a small pond as far as beauty goes, not to mention the ratio of men to women: The total population of Alaska is estimated to be 734,821 with 386,649 males (52.62%) and 348,172 females (47.38%). There are 38,477 less females than males in Alaska. With that sweet ratio imbalance and the fact that Alaska filters out a lot of “soy boys” from coming here due to the rugged lifestyle, a Lower48 woman on the 7 scale can feel good about being complimented by a 10 guy up in the Last Frontier.

Small towns/villages breath a wholesome hardy life into the essence that is Alaska which contrasts with the abundance of cities in the Lower48 — all dominated by the XX chromosone. Yes, most cities have more women in them. For example, NYC is 53% to 47% women to men ratio, but account for probably 10% of them being gay and, so, you are left with a measly 37% men for what oft makes for an even thirstier set of women. Not to mention, they have to keep up with other women through a this modern filler-plastic-gym-going-lifestyle trope in order to get the attention of a Simple Straight 7 dude. You men have no clue what most women are doing behind the scenes foryou, for other women and for ourselves. Just to wake up and be pleased with the person in the mirror in the silence of 10 pm before we crawl into bed. “She still has it”, we whisper to ourselves in 3rd person, as if we are becoming another person — frozen in youth — outside of who we naturally were to progress as.

Here are a few reasons why women might be able to feel better about themselves up here…



ALASKA HAS BEEN DOMINATED BY MEN SINCE THE GOLD RUSH

Unlike Aspen, this is not a place where the women “instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano” but rather the men are the salmon — swimming upstream, just a whole country of testoserone who migrated to northand. I think every man I have dated had it on their bucket list to explore Alaska — and that made me feel cozy inside, after all, I was born up there into a 4th generation fishing family, the most rugged of them all. So the whole “AK bucket list” became almost a litmus test of their manlihood and an initiation of them into my life becasue why woudn’t a guy want to visit the most masculine country on earth? Whether you are at sea or on land, you can not escape the stereotype: since Alaska’s Klondike Gold Rush days in the late 1900’s this is still a man’s favorite playground (whether they are making money or not) and they will gleefullly settle with a 7 like she’s a 10.


My little sister is a next-level photographer, here she does a series with her Alaska friends and muses https://www.photobymemry.com/lifestyle/fashion-portraiture/2cdb4ajrthqdfce8veficakv0rrfa6


THERE ARE FEW PLACES LEFT IN THIS WORLD WHERE YOU CAN FEEL UNASSUMINGLY BEAUTIFUL

Alaska is the opposite of, let’s say, Denmark the most crisp clean tall demographics of people (not to mention, largest sperm bank in the world). And I didn’t find this out through Google pics — I went there IRL, baby. Last April and just 3 days in, my friend and I started to feel pretty insecure about all the beauty around us. We half jokingly said things like: “We need to get out of here — I’m starting to feel pretty ugly.” “Same here!” Oh the wieght of not having so many beautiful women around you ((AKA competition))) is a burden lifted when you go to Alaska. Not to say I have not seen beauties — because there are both diamond in the roughs up there and polished diamonds — either way, there are absolutely striking beautiful NATURAL women in Alaska which leads me to my next proclamation…

ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS

An ALASKAN IN FLORIDA: Natural born me (except for my bonde hair), I was just another 27year old “8” in the crowd of beautiful women back in Florida, meanwhile I would probably be like a “12” walking into a men’s locker room up in Alaska.



I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, because, think about it: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, Tiktoks and Youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So, how do we escape? ALASKA.


Where the men are men and so are the women, YOU are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all burly like a man. No, no, there is a caveat to that catch phrase with Alaska having some of the most breathtaking natural beauties, like I already said! My family and I know some of these ladies and Bristol Palin is an example of what most people see in the media (more on her, below). Even my 90 year-old grandma’s skin so smooth, thanks to the lack of sun up there most of the year. They do dude stuff but still look like feminine women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing that phrase: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it (that is also a big chunk of this state). So, you will be a breath of fresh air to these boys (but if you are from Smog ANGELES, then of course you are getting the breath of fresh air).



BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH

Veneers, chin impact, upper bletheroplasty,… and a sprinlkle of something else I’m sure

One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get allthese surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).

WHERE DO I STAND?

I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was. Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.

I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was alway more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.

CONCLUSION

I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.

Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..

The other Theory of Relativity: Natural born beauty (except for my bonde hair), I was just another 27year old “8” in the crowd of a lot more beautiful women back in Florida, meanwhile I would be like a “12” like a woman entering a men’s locker room up in Alaska. 

ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS

I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, bc think about: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, tiktoks and youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So how do we escape? ALASKA. Where the mena are men and so are the women, you are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all barely like a man. No no. Let em caveat that catch phrase with Alaska having of the most breathtaking natural beauties! Me and my family knew some of these ladies. They do stuff but still look like a women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing ht phrsez: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it — that is most of ALASKA. You will be a breath of fresh air to these boys — especially if you are coming from Smog Angeles, then of course it is you getting the breath of fresh air.

Lack of sun helps: my 90yr olde grandma’s skin looks better than some half her age down in theAlower 48.

BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH

Veneers, chin impact, upper bletheroplasty,… and a sprinlkle of something else I’m sure


One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get all these surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).


WHERE DO I STAND?

I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was — what nuance! Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.

I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was always more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.

CONCLUSION

I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.

Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..

  

$4.03 earned in one year after 38 stories published: Why I’m cancelling my Medium Membership

When your ship has sailed because the dock gave no solid anchorage for it...

I know I’m a damn good author as are SO many others who are complaining across the Internet about the scheemy nature of this platform that once was [insert early day medium memories]. Some of the best hidden gems are leaving Medium in droves. It’s too bad they were not given the opportunity to be discovered or platformed. Like the Land Run of 18(something) but in reverse: this exit from Medium is running away to a brighter future, to save what’s left of our self respect/dignity. And it’s not for a lack of trying: I’ve been on here for a year and have engaged with many accounts, been extremely proactive but only gained 183 followers while earning a total of about 4 bucks for hundreds of hours spent on here (a combination of writing my own stories, engaging and reading other’s work). This place was once an oasis for independent writers to land (perhaps I should have jumped on the bandwagon years ago) but even people who have been here for years and built up a handsome following STILL do not deserve the kind of backlash treatment from Medium. It’s slimy and grimy — heck, I’ll go as far to say insidious. Shani Silver wrote a tremendous amount of masterpeice articles here on Medium (that’s what intitially drew me to the site!) and then she departed recently — but not without a magnum opus of blog entries which I encourage everyone to read:

Medium Is Officially, Genuinely, Actually No Longer Worth It

How a once-beloved space for writers became a waste of my time.

shanisilver.medium.com

As a reader in general, I’m also fed up: Medium recommends the most basic bitch articles to me (on the discovery feed) which I’m no longer stomaching. I think a lot of these people have used ChatGTP and copy paste — I also don’t like how everybody uses Unspalsh. What the the heck, y'all — do you know the pennies photographers are earning for their work over their?? It’s like one unethical platform feeding another unethical platform.

One Million Reasons Unsplash Is A Disaster For Photographers & Designers

We recently featured an article by photographer Samuel Zeller touting the virtues of giving away photography on…

www.diyphotography.net

I have several people I actually follow but their work does not headline as much as other people who I am NOT following. Sound familiar? Yea, Medium is following after Instagram and dating apps: this pesky thing they do in the beginning to build up your hope and enthusiasm and then once they baited you in — GOTCHA! — they let go. Whiplash. Ghosting your good name. You were just an unsuspecting pawn in a pyramid scheme, that’s all this really is. It’s mentally and financially debilitating because all artists and writers want is for our name to be recognized (through validation in engagement) and respected (through financial compensation). As a children’s book author it’s even hard to make a living selling my books, and this article confirms I’m not crazy for thinking my books deserve more of the limelight:

How Do You Even Sell a Book Anymore? | The Walrus

As sales slump, the labour of trying to bottle hype is largely left to writers

thewalrus.ca


I‘ll cherish my $4.03 — a whole year’s worth of income and not even enough to buy a latte. Thanks Medium! Now I suggest you and your elite gatekeepers read the room of what the Internet is saying about you right now….