These lovely Georgia clients saw my first Frank Sinatra piece and loved my collage medium so much that they commissioned me to do a larger (6x6ft!) custom piece to go in their swanky entertainment salon/bar room! Here is the visual journey from creation to installation…
Merit and success do not have a linear connection in the book industry, thanks to hyper capitalism and PAY2PLAY
Almost a foot tall—my stash of 18 books (and several others in pre production!) representing thousands of hours of work the past 5 years🤲🏽 Over time I’ve gotten messages and reviews from people that absolutely melt my heart! I’m grateful for my customers and the stores who have bought thousands of books to date from me, yet, I’ll be transparent with y’all ……..…I still feel like a nobody. A dot on the map. Behind my pollyanna smile is actually a lot of confusion about the so-called strong ties between merit and success. I feel like the ridiculous amount of labor and soul I put into my career (merit) is not matching up to the level of success I think I should have in return by now. A few thousand books sold over 5 years is a drop in the ocean and the royalties are less than royal, so you need to sell tens of thousands to even make a dent.
My life in general, outside of career, has been the textbook definition of delayed gratification. So many people just want to be known and affirmed in this life—that’s a good and normal sentiment to have. However, if you have a special talent combined with extraordinary work ethic then that lack of attention/respect/accolades is even more pronounced. With 18 books to my name since 2020, a lot of people have yet to catch up to the fact that I’m probably the most prolific children’s book author + illustrator in the market today. Still crickets. It’s inferiorating on a mind-numbing level. It’s like you feel gaslit by an unforgiving industry that isn’t giving you much back that you pour into it.
Outside of my busy hours of creating these books, I have to then market them on my own—a whole other hat to grin ‘n bear. (If I hired a sales rep then I would have to pay them 15% so I'd be netting no money, that’s how tight book margins are!). I’m glad YOU are here though, following and supporting my journey though—someday this will all pay off and you’ll be like, “I knew her when she was a nobody.”
Eventhough I have worked really hard the past 4 years getting into scores of stores and selling thousands of books, this industry has evaded me for the most part. And I know why…3 words: Pay. To. Play. Lower your prices. Do more promotional free book give aways. All that BS, due to a jungle of a giant…Amazon. I always tell people: do not buy brand new books from there, just USED books. If you want to buy brand new then go support your local book n motor or buy from the author’s personal website store. Aside from Amazon, I think this lack of book sales I’m getting (as well as numerous other authors right now) also has a lot to do with the influx of kids on screens (instead of their noses in books) and some lackluster children’s books being given the lime light. Few people seek out good products these days; most people just buy what’s in front of them.
You hear the phrase “starving artist”—but it’s more like “starving author”. We have the tightest margins in the world and so with that, combined with the “Amazon Effect” of everyone thinking cheaper is better, you get a commercialized culture in which the books with big publishing houses can produce them in the tens of thousands and get more traction because their prices are lower. That means self publishers who can only produce in small batches get swept aside in favor of companies with 1) better wholesale prices and 2) FREE SHIPPING. Yep, that’s why I call it the Amazon Effect because it’s like retailers now feel entitled to get next-to-nothing shipping for their products from wholesale accounts like myself. I use USPS media mail (discounted shipping on books) but I have still lost accounts (whom I have been successful with) in recent years because I don’t do free shipping like their other companies (which are a lot bigger and can absorb costs).
I have a lot more to say but I’ve already said it all in my blog I wrote on this subject 2 years ago:
https://www.whitneylanderson.com/blog/2022/2/19/3saydkypu2iklza6fie49qri5jkb6l-7pgky
Oh and this one just last year:
https://medium.com/@whitneylanderson/taking-it-on-the-chin-being-my-own-sales-rep-ebc676c72a78
If you are a retailer or customer then it is imperative that you educate yourself on the current drawback of hyper capitalism and the repercussions it has on small but mighty creators like myself. I am one of many authors in the publishing industry that make it easy is but in turn get pennies for our work—that the publication business has built off the backs of US. If you want to help more authors be seen, then stop only favoring companies that give you free shipping and are produced in China on slave wages.
https://www.whitneylanderson.com/blog/2021/10/25/why-i-write-childrens-books
https://www.whitneylanderson.com/blog/2022/3/20/2-years-since-publishing-my-first-book
For more Totem (my Newfoundland puppy): check out these blog posts:
https://www.whitneylanderson.com/blog/2023/10/20/totems-tale-getting-my-first-dog
Where have all the cupid’s bows gone?! (And my two cents on other makeup trends….)
Let’s talk about the top half of women’s mouths right now — have you noticed what’s missing? Appropriating one of my favorite 90s song by Paula Cole “Where have all the cowboys gone”, I started asking myself this question the past year: “where have all the cupid’s bows gone? Because there has been a gradual exodus of natural lips through plastic surgery and/or cosmetics. You just can’t “read” a women’s lips anymore — they have been Kardashianized (the bastardized term for these sisters having such an assault on natural beauty).
K2 and Everest are pretty much the same height and that’s what Anya Taylor Joy possesses in her top half: two glorious peaks that I don’t think any woman has right now. They really showcase the feminine curves of the lips as we have with the curve to our bodies. Meanwhile, I see woman left and right on Instagram with the same old “Kilimanjaro”— one big mound, whoopdeedoo. I say we head back to what made us unique in the first place because ya’ll are starting to look like lip clones. On that note, I’ll name some of my other of my not-so-favorite cosmetic and facial beauty trends over the year. As a portrait artist I have a very keen eye on faces (and am a big fan of watching plastic surgery commentators on Youtube), so here are some beauty trends that have been very obvious to me over the past decade of social media and real life:
BROWS
Cara Delevingne and Lily Collins — hold up! I have always thought these were too overwhelming to look at. Lily is one milimeter too close to having an unibrow if her brows move any closer together.
Carolyn Bessette Kenndey, 1920’s Flapper girls, Bella Hadid and Pam Anderson —those are MY kind of eybrows. In my opinion, they provide a softer demure look to frame the face.
EYE LASHS
Enough white caterpillars hanging off. Reminds me of Jenna Marbles first viral makeup video
NOSE
Rudolf the beige-nose Reindeer! The sheen on the tip of the nose provides a more “button nose” look — but everyone is starting to have that same button nose is the problem. It’s quite amazing, though— look at that transformation! I feel like this could be photoshopped…
SOCIETY OF THE SINGLES
I’m having an existential moment with the latest movie I just watched about one of the most unfathomable survival stories in modern times: the 1972 Andes plane crash. My soul wept in one particular scene: a crash survivor named Numa had just climbed onto a ridge and confronted a sea of the same snow-covered mountains for which he was trying to escape. Even though I was miles away from his kind of predicament, indoors on my cozy couch watching from the screen, I was facing a similar psychological crisis in life: despair. I was shallow breathing in panic for him. I already knew the ending of Society of the Snow, as these plane crash survivors escape the barren vortex of cold and starvation, but I entertained the thought of him not proceeding forward. “Which path are you going to choose, Numa? Are you going to give up or be a solo hero now on that mountain so that you could become a global one 52 years later?
Forget being hungry for tangible food, in that moment he was more than ever hungry for the intangible : the food of determination to maintain faith in God when he was against all odds to live. I could see it in his eyes. I have a similar hunger: dare I say that Numa’s scene felt like escaping my perpetual singledom. I’m on that ridge every day and, whenever I look out, all I see is “snow”: no safe opportunities to even place myself in the vacinity of men and no eligible bachelors currently on my radar. In silent panic I, too, entertain my fate of the unknown, “Are you going to be stuck, here, single forever?”
Before you get out your violins, I admit hating to co-opt such a traumatic event like this and relate it to something like my singlehood. Much like how the word PTSD is used willy-nilly when it was originally just supposed to be exclusive to Vietnam soldiers and the like, I don’t want to cloud the real trauma and despair they faced. I’m just using this story as a loose metaphor for my own.
That being said, I have been in my own “Andes” of singlehood for 99% of my adult life and it’s taken its toll. There have been “airplanes” overhead, so promising, but they just pass by. This is mostly my anology for unavailable men who hit on me, false alarms, false starts — whatever polite synonyms one can think of for these unfortunate situations. On that note, I could write a whole blog on why men need to wear their wedding rings in public, because the whole talking with you for 30 minutes and then finding out about your wife and children is getting really old. When I spot a ring, it’s game over. I don’t even bother to waste my precious flirtatious energy: I see married men as a brick wall. But I digress, in the midst of such red herrings, I’ve kept myself extremely busy and productive to ward off the looming despair. Numa hiking that ridge reflects my current state of utter dissapointment, but he decided to keep on trekking and I must find the fortitude to do the same.
EMBRACING NIHILISM IN ROMANCE TO CONSERVE ENERGY
So, what does this look like? Well, it’s something I’ve been processing for months now so my answer is still evolving. Currently, I am in a just exist state of mind — there is less energy exerted and less risk to your ego going about your singlehood in this mindset of indifference. It numbs life around you, especially when you see that everyone and everything is passing you by (social media is a terrible reminder of this) and your “time is running out.”
Now I know that “just existing” is a form of nihilism, a milqtoast mindset that contends with my strong faith and joy found in God, but it’s a protective mindset (and I’m also trying to not let it pour into other areas of life). I’m no psychologist but I posit a theory after experiencing many bouts of nihilism regarding my lackluster romantic life: people adopt nihilism in the same way the brain goes into a coma or hypothermia because the brain is forming a protective numbing layer around the core of the body as the last resort. Thus, my numbing these particular desires in the romantic realm has been the key to not getting upset about that expectation not coming to fruition. Did you know one of the Andes survivors Nando was in a protective a coma state for almost three days after the horrific crash? He would become one of the 16 survivors in the end.
I don’t think about or pine for men anymore. It’s actually quite liberating. They just don’t intrigue me. I know I can’t sentence a whole population for the handful that have let me down, but this is where I am at — and I know millions of others are in the exact same boat. Retired from dating and waiting on a miracle from God so you don’t get your heart ripped out again? Join the club. I believe you can be thriving in life when you meet someone or “just existing”, because I’ve started to believe that love is mostly brought on by fate. It’s less about merit and more about things we have no control over. That is why I choose to conserve my energy and just exist in that part of my life. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up, it means I’m surrendering all outcomes to God. Because how many couples have you met who pretty much came together without orchestrating it, without pushing or planning it? Scores and scores…
FINDING MY WAY BACK TO THE THRIVE MINDSET
Now, here’s my dilemma: I know life is worth more actually thriving — living life! — than just existing. Just like Numo did on that mountain: he chose to live in the hope of the unknown, not just exist in the hopelessness of the known around him. So, having said that, I miss my thriving mindset and am trying to reach an equilibirum between the thrive and just exist mindset. Thriving takes risk and risk is what really makes you feel alive. And I miss feeling alive.
Like Rose dropping her blue sapphire in the ocean — that was me every time I wore my heart on my sleeve for a man. I let my heart go but he never caught it. So, I would have to hold my breath and dive down into the trenches carved out by my tears to retrieve it. I’ve done this so many times that I am now familiar with that dark but rather stay away from it. I’d rather be alone than keep letting my heart go, so as to preserve my emotional energy and what’s left of my sanity and sacred vulnerability. One has to find their own equilibrium between conserving energy and still choosing to take risks in life. There is a cost benefit to every mindset. It’s how we grow and learn — all that proverbial nomenclature. I realize now that just existing in my singlehood has taken over my whimsom imagination and competitive spirit that I had in my thriving mindset — on a cliff dangling below but so free, so ambitious. That’s really the me I’ll always be inside! So, you can bet I’ll pull a Rose and risk dropping my sapphire heart again — I just hope its for the last time.
Damn these mountains though….I hope we all, eventually, find our way past them. The need to pair bond is intense in most humans and I am no exception — but I’m still not one to just settle with whomever. Sometimes I wish I was that kind of person though, in which the nagging despair of being single would just be displaced by my soul deprived of authentic connection. But, unfortunately, that’s not a bargain I could live with. I want to prevail like Numa, Nando and the rest of them. I want to keep moving against all odds, because someone once told me, “where there is life, there is hope”…
THE LOWER 48 vs. ALASKA (BEAUTY EDITION)
“Honey, if you’re a 7 down there, you’ll feel like a 10 up here!”
I‘ll never forget when I was about 19 years old in the waiting area of a tiny village airport on the Aleutian Peninsula. I had just left a “neighboring” village called Chignik — about an HOUR’S plane ride away — where my family fished out of the past 4 generations. These village airports are frozen in time — as are so many of its people, like this one:
“Were you in 17 magazine?”, a lady quipped as she walked by me.
I laughed nervously and said something really lackluster for a comeback, “Umm…haha! Noooo, I‘ve never been in there — but thank you.”
Clearly that women had not left the village in a long time if ever, to allude that I was a model. I dispelled her curiosity quickly (but I should have milked it — heck, she could have asked for my autograph and that would have been hilarious). Nonetheless, everybody has that one remark in life that remains an ego boost and that one was mine back in 2010. What a memento. I never considered myself a 10 — more on a sliding scale between 7 and 8. But it’s all relative when you are in Alaska.
That sentiment has been magnified even more over the years as I have personally dubbed it at the “relative-beauty quotient” in Alaska. That quotient reflects contrasting beauty trends between the Lower48 and Alaska. So, I started reassuring my friends who are feeling down about all the competition out there: “Hey, if you are a 7 down here, you’ll feel like a 10 up in Alaska.” It’s like a big fish in a small pond as far as beauty goes, not to mention the ratio of men to women: The total population of Alaska is estimated to be 734,821 with 386,649 males (52.62%) and 348,172 females (47.38%). There are 38,477 less females than males in Alaska. With that sweet ratio imbalance and the fact that Alaska filters out a lot of “soy boys” from coming here due to the rugged lifestyle, a Lower48 woman on the 7 scale can feel good about being complimented by a 10 guy up in the Last Frontier.
Small towns/villages breath a wholesome hardy life into the essence that is Alaska which contrasts with the abundance of cities in the Lower48 — all dominated by the XX chromosone. Yes, most cities have more women in them. For example, NYC is 53% to 47% women to men ratio, but account for probably 10% of them being gay and, so, you are left with a measly 37% men for what oft makes for an even thirstier set of women. Not to mention, they have to keep up with other women through a this modern filler-plastic-gym-going-lifestyle trope in order to get the attention of a Simple Straight 7 dude. You men have no clue what most women are doing behind the scenes foryou, for other women and for ourselves. Just to wake up and be pleased with the person in the mirror in the silence of 10 pm before we crawl into bed. “She still has it”, we whisper to ourselves in 3rd person, as if we are becoming another person — frozen in youth — outside of who we naturally were to progress as.
Here are a few reasons why women might be able to feel better about themselves up here…
ALASKA HAS BEEN DOMINATED BY MEN SINCE THE GOLD RUSH
Unlike Aspen, this is not a place where the women “instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano” but rather the men are the salmon — swimming upstream, just a whole country of testoserone who migrated to northand. I think every man I have dated had it on their bucket list to explore Alaska — and that made me feel cozy inside, after all, I was born up there into a 4th generation fishing family, the most rugged of them all. So the whole “AK bucket list” became almost a litmus test of their manlihood and an initiation of them into my life becasue why woudn’t a guy want to visit the most masculine country on earth? Whether you are at sea or on land, you can not escape the stereotype: since Alaska’s Klondike Gold Rush days in the late 1900’s this is still a man’s favorite playground (whether they are making money or not) and they will gleefullly settle with a 7 like she’s a 10.
My little sister is a next-level photographer, here she does a series with her Alaska friends and muses https://www.photobymemry.com/lifestyle/fashion-portraiture/2cdb4ajrthqdfce8veficakv0rrfa6
THERE ARE FEW PLACES LEFT IN THIS WORLD WHERE YOU CAN FEEL UNASSUMINGLY BEAUTIFUL
Alaska is the opposite of, let’s say, Denmark the most crisp clean tall demographics of people (not to mention, largest sperm bank in the world). And I didn’t find this out through Google pics — I went there IRL, baby. Last April and just 3 days in, my friend and I started to feel pretty insecure about all the beauty around us. We half jokingly said things like: “We need to get out of here — I’m starting to feel pretty ugly.” “Same here!” Oh the wieght of not having so many beautiful women around you ((AKA competition))) is a burden lifted when you go to Alaska. Not to say I have not seen beauties — because there are both diamond in the roughs up there and polished diamonds — either way, there are absolutely striking beautiful NATURAL women in Alaska which leads me to my next proclamation…
ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS
I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, because, think about it: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, Tiktoks and Youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So, how do we escape? ALASKA.
Where the men are men and so are the women, YOU are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all burly like a man. No, no, there is a caveat to that catch phrase with Alaska having some of the most breathtaking natural beauties, like I already said! My family and I know some of these ladies and Bristol Palin is an example of what most people see in the media (more on her, below). Even my 90 year-old grandma’s skin so smooth, thanks to the lack of sun up there most of the year. They do dude stuff but still look like feminine women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing that phrase: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it (that is also a big chunk of this state). So, you will be a breath of fresh air to these boys (but if you are from Smog ANGELES, then of course you are getting the breath of fresh air).
BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH
One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get allthese surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).
WHERE DO I STAND?
I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was. Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.
I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was alway more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.
CONCLUSION
I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.
Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..
ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS
I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, bc think about: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, tiktoks and youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So how do we escape? ALASKA. Where the mena are men and so are the women, you are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all barely like a man. No no. Let em caveat that catch phrase with Alaska having of the most breathtaking natural beauties! Me and my family knew some of these ladies. They do stuff but still look like a women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing ht phrsez: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it — that is most of ALASKA. You will be a breath of fresh air to these boys — especially if you are coming from Smog Angeles, then of course it is you getting the breath of fresh air.
Lack of sun helps: my 90yr olde grandma’s skin looks better than some half her age down in theAlower 48.
BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH
One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get all these surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).
WHERE DO I STAND?
I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was — what nuance! Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.
I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was always more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.
CONCLUSION
I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.
Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..
$4.03 earned in one year after 38 stories published: Why I’m cancelling my Medium Membership
When your ship has sailed because the dock gave no solid anchorage for it...
I know I’m a damn good author as are SO many others who are complaining across the Internet about the scheemy nature of this platform that once was [insert early day medium memories]. Some of the best hidden gems are leaving Medium in droves. It’s too bad they were not given the opportunity to be discovered or platformed. Like the Land Run of 18(something) but in reverse: this exit from Medium is running away to a brighter future, to save what’s left of our self respect/dignity. And it’s not for a lack of trying: I’ve been on here for a year and have engaged with many accounts, been extremely proactive but only gained 183 followers while earning a total of about 4 bucks for hundreds of hours spent on here (a combination of writing my own stories, engaging and reading other’s work). This place was once an oasis for independent writers to land (perhaps I should have jumped on the bandwagon years ago) but even people who have been here for years and built up a handsome following STILL do not deserve the kind of backlash treatment from Medium. It’s slimy and grimy — heck, I’ll go as far to say insidious. Shani Silver wrote a tremendous amount of masterpeice articles here on Medium (that’s what intitially drew me to the site!) and then she departed recently — but not without a magnum opus of blog entries which I encourage everyone to read:
Medium Is Officially, Genuinely, Actually No Longer Worth It
How a once-beloved space for writers became a waste of my time.
As a reader in general, I’m also fed up: Medium recommends the most basic bitch articles to me (on the discovery feed) which I’m no longer stomaching. I think a lot of these people have used ChatGTP and copy paste — I also don’t like how everybody uses Unspalsh. What the the heck, y'all — do you know the pennies photographers are earning for their work over their?? It’s like one unethical platform feeding another unethical platform.
One Million Reasons Unsplash Is A Disaster For Photographers & Designers
We recently featured an article by photographer Samuel Zeller touting the virtues of giving away photography on…
I have several people I actually follow but their work does not headline as much as other people who I am NOT following. Sound familiar? Yea, Medium is following after Instagram and dating apps: this pesky thing they do in the beginning to build up your hope and enthusiasm and then once they baited you in — GOTCHA! — they let go. Whiplash. Ghosting your good name. You were just an unsuspecting pawn in a pyramid scheme, that’s all this really is. It’s mentally and financially debilitating because all artists and writers want is for our name to be recognized (through validation in engagement) and respected (through financial compensation). As a children’s book author it’s even hard to make a living selling my books, and this article confirms I’m not crazy for thinking my books deserve more of the limelight:
How Do You Even Sell a Book Anymore? | The Walrus
As sales slump, the labour of trying to bottle hype is largely left to writers
I‘ll cherish my $4.03 — a whole year’s worth of income and not even enough to buy a latte. Thanks Medium! Now I suggest you and your elite gatekeepers read the room of what the Internet is saying about you right now….
My dog: lessons and confessions on lower consciousness
I had an epiphany the other day while walking my dog: Omgosh this is like going on a safari for her! Going on walks in my suburbia tree-line streets provides her with so much stimulation. It’s like she has short term memory and forgets that I took her on the same route yesturday and the day before and the day before that….it’s this novel experience everytime, a perpetual discovery that my senses are not attune to. What I am attune to she is not and what she is attune to I am not. It makes for a great relationship, this justopostion of conciousnesses between human and animal. Sometimes I almost yearn for her worldview, wishing I was in her paws, experiencing life at a lower conscious level.
There is something liberating about not being an adult and having the social awareness of a 3 year old. Ah, the old adage “ignorance is bliss” and, boy, do dogs live that phrase. We worry about the world and our place in it while they are hoping to just get one stick thrown today or see a squirrel (mind you, the equivelent of seeing a gazelle on safari). What are these other equivalents to “african Safari animals? Here are a few that most dog owners might agree on:
A chipmunk running up a tree is like a cheetah pouncing around on the savannah
A pinecone being pushed across the road by the wind is like seeing a Wildebeast running
Chasing after ducks in the water, she shape shifts into an alligator going after a zebra
Seeing another dog is like seeing a leopard in the distance. That brings me to my next thought…..
I am almost impressed by how relentless she is when it comes to meeting other dogs — like, I wish I had some of that nerve. Here I am, literally at a 70 degree angle leaning back against the pavement as her 80 pound body fights to meet the dog across the street from us. She is annoying in this moment but at the same time, like I said, I am impressed! I wish I could make friends with other humans as easily as dogs do with one another. For what would it take each of us to pull off such a brazen uncilivized act? For one, we would have to remove years of societal conditioning, taking all all of the shy conciousness and pride out of us, along with a heavy dose of Liquid Courage and some meds (probably NOT prescribed to us) — and that is how we can simulate a dog’s bahavior.
I find the fervor of dogs interacting with other dogs rather uncivilized yet endearing. In the midst of no social awareness/cues and left to their own primal devices, perhaps we could adopt some of that angst to get to know more random strangers on the street without any shame or fear of repercussions (if they turn out to be a weirdo that is). We seem to have little need for interaction with our fellow humans or maybe some of us do but think that the other person would rather keep walking by us (projection and fear of rejection). Well, dogs have nothing to lose and I wish I could adopt their gravitas on how important interacting with their species is. I find my dog’s aptitude for socializing and boldness to carry it out not as a “ice breaking” perk with my fellow humans but on a macro scale helping humanity reexamine the attributes that make life worth living: curiosity, discovery, connection, leadership, loyalty and love. Lower consiousness magnifies life. There is this aura of gratifude that my dog has and that reminds me to feel gratitude as well! I ♡ u Totem.
The farce behind “high value men”
The Andrew Huberman accusations got me to finally talk about something that has been bugging me for years now. **WARNING: sassy rant ahead**
Let’s amend that term already, shall we? Seriously, the terms “high value man” and “high value woman” make me cringe — how subjective! I mean, not everyone views the term “high value” in the same way. Thus, it is a strereotype, almost a caricature of what we deem a desireable man to be these days. So, let’s talk about that most secular definition of what a high value man is: A) one that is at least attractive to the majority of people (add to that, fit body and over 5'10 for specifics outside of facial qualities), B) makes a good living (+$100k/year) and C) has a personality/charm to him which is essential for those around him to even gain the consideration of him being high value in the first place. Andrew and the likes of him out there in public view right now fit that proverbial definition of “high value men.”
Now, let’s get into the weeds of the issue: sex. Pardon if I am number 100,498,385 person on the internet to use the tossed-around phrase “80% of women are sleeping with 20% of the men in this country.”, but pretty much ALL those 20% would fit into the stereotypical definition of “high value men”. All of these qualities make for getting women a lot easier. Thus, fitting that proverbial definition of “high value” means you can get a lot of women — but, in my critial-thinking book, it doesn’t mean you should. But do these men hold back? Nope. In a culture of sexual gratification — even if you are a straight male espousing conservative values — you still give into premarital sex. That reminds me of a comment I left on Adam Sosnik’s video:
Therin lies a cognitive dissonence on mass societal scale with no one seeming to ask my blunt question: why would being a man whore be high value? Ever since those pitiful high value phrases trended their way into our vernacular, I’ve been giving a strong side-eye towards dating culture. Andrew: just because you can get multiple ass at the same time, doesn’t mean you should. I passionately wrote an exposé on the subject of half-hearted love in this country which is due so much in part to the 20%/80% phenomenon I mentioned in the last paragraph.
Therin lies a cognitive dissonence on mass societal scale with no one seeming to ask my blunt question: why would being a man whore be high value? Ever since those pitiful high value phrases trended their way into our vernacular, I’ve been giving a strong side-eye towards dating culture. Andrew: just because you can get multiple ass at the same time, doesn’t mean you should. I passionately wrote an exposé on the subject of half-hearted love in this country which is due so much in part to the 20%/80% phenomenon I mentioned in the last paragraph.
https://medium.com/hello-love/passive-love-the-mediocrity-of-our-times-70b4942a178f
Ew. Gross. I mean, come on guys — think about the numbers racked up with these man whores. A Dan Bilzerian clip just came to mind right now — yikes! Mind you, womanizing Dan amassed his wealth in a pitiful “low value” way (just like Andrew Tate) and he is not easy on the eyes [mine at least]. Nonetheless, he would be deemed high value in our surface-thinking society because he can get women and rolls in dough to spoil these women in return for their “services.” These men are, in essence, bringing down their value by not having self control and bonding with one women. Sewing your wild oats for years on end is disgusting and juvenile. Andrew might be engineer/professor/podcaster/health guru (and I LOVE his videos btw — fascinating!) but he has a deficit to him: he is just like the other dudes who can’t master their lust. Andrew, BE DIFFERENT. Same goes for that other Andrew (Tate), those Fresh n Fit podcast bros and you, too, Justin Waller. I could name several in this cespool. The saddest part is that so many men out there think this is part of the high value man “package”: If I can and DO SLEEP with all these women then it must mean I’m high value!
I hate using the umbrella term “toxic masculinity” because I think it chastises men for just having male qualities that are a net positive to society but, in this particualr case, this is a net negative because, dear men, you are not weilding your sexual marketplace power in a productive way. You are having years of sterile sex with women who are not your wife — peel back the layers of logic, you know how BETA that is ?? Am I allowed to ask how many abortions are paid for by these men or did I just cross a bar? Think about it.
By restricting access to your fleshly desires, then you would be the TRUE definition of a high value: a man who can get any woman he wants but holds back because he has a MORAL SPINE. Self control — what a concept. Think about it: you pride yourself in self discipline and delayed gratifiction in every other area of your life — your career ladder, your fitness, your diet— except for when it comes to sex. Andrew Huberman is a statuesque, ruggedly attractive intellectual who was sleeping with multiple women at the same time — that only makes him partly high value. The hallmark of masculinity is self control in sex which I talked extensively about in my last blog on the epidemic of porn and sexual apathy in this country.
https://medium.com/@whitneylanderson/why-i-now-fastforward-through-rated-r-sex-scenes-05173f51b53e?source=post_page-----d84ed54ad872--------------------------------
Interestingly, because you are deemed “high value”, that gives you carte blanche to take advantage of other women and negatively impact the dating scape on a mass scale. Actual true high value men are like Tim Tebow — not because of his looks, his football accolades or his charm — but because of his FEAR OF GOD. The man has a spiritual spine not seen in alot of men these days. Most often that carries over to a RARE SELF CONTROL when it comes to sex. Granted, the man waited until he got married — and got teased because he wasn’t “taking advantage” of his high value situation to just get with women whenever and wherever he wanted. Taking advantage of his situation = taking advantage of women = jading their outlook of relationships and sexual relations they have in the future. Thus, the negative impact of these “high value” men is exponential.
If you are are not critically thinking about this then you will give into your vices when it comes to the sex you have available on tap. The culture will cheer you on for this attribute at first, but then women can come out of the woodwork, like in Huberman’s case, with a disdain for you. Your sexual past is alive and well: for every women you bind your body with, she WILL take you with her into her next relationship or marriage. Men actually imprint on women more than the other way around — so men, please head my advice today! You are the leaders in society. Stop giving into lust just because you have access to it — it’s the oldest sin in the book. Women, you can also help by having more self respect and agency to not give into premarital sex on your end. Gone are the days of men being excused from promiscuous behavior in the dating space because they have the halo of “high value” blanketing their reputations — and I don’t need to be Jean Grey to see right through it.
If you want to get the dish on my overall thoughts on dating, here is a platter I served up years ago (and its aging like Manchego):