“Honey, if you’re a 7 down there, you’ll feel like a 10 up here!”
In my old stomping grounds and birth state of AK, 13 years after my “Were you in 17 Magazine?” moment, a very flattering question by a very clueless villager women. Never before (and never there after) has there been such an ignorant remark so dearly held as a memento.
I‘ll never forget when I was about 19 years old in the waiting area of a tiny village airport on the Aleutian Peninsula. I had just left a “neighboring” village called Chignik — about an HOUR’S plane ride away — where my family fished out of the past 4 generations. These village airports are frozen in time — as are so many of its people, like this one:
“Were you in 17 magazine?”, a lady quipped as she walked by me.
I laughed nervously and said something really lackluster for a comeback, “Umm…haha! Noooo, I‘ve never been in there — but thank you.”
Clearly that women had not left the village in a long time if ever, to allude that I was a model. I dispelled her curiosity quickly (but I should have milked it — heck, she could have asked for my autograph and that would have been hilarious). Nonetheless, everybody has that one remark in life that remains an ego boost and that one was mine back in 2010. What a memento. I never considered myself a 10 — more on a sliding scale between 7 and 8. But it’s all relative when you are in Alaska.
That sentiment has been magnified even more over the years as I have personally dubbed it at the “relative-beauty quotient” in Alaska. That quotient reflects contrasting beauty trends between the Lower48 and Alaska. So, I started reassuring my friends who are feeling down about all the competition out there: “Hey, if you are a 7 down here, you’ll feel like a 10 up in Alaska.” It’s like a big fish in a small pond as far as beauty goes, not to mention the ratio of men to women: The total population of Alaska is estimated to be 734,821 with 386,649 males (52.62%) and 348,172 females (47.38%). There are 38,477 less females than males in Alaska. With that sweet ratio imbalance and the fact that Alaska filters out a lot of “soy boys” from coming here due to the rugged lifestyle, a Lower48 woman on the 7 scale can feel good about being complimented by a 10 guy up in the Last Frontier.
Small towns/villages breath a wholesome hardy life into the essence that is Alaska which contrasts with the abundance of cities in the Lower48 — all dominated by the XX chromosone. Yes, most cities have more women in them. For example, NYC is 53% to 47% women to men ratio, but account for probably 10% of them being gay and, so, you are left with a measly 37% men for what oft makes for an even thirstier set of women. Not to mention, they have to keep up with other women through a this modern filler-plastic-gym-going-lifestyle trope in order to get the attention of a Simple Straight 7 dude. You men have no clue what most women are doing behind the scenes foryou, for other women and for ourselves. Just to wake up and be pleased with the person in the mirror in the silence of 10 pm before we crawl into bed. “She still has it”, we whisper to ourselves in 3rd person, as if we are becoming another person — frozen in youth — outside of who we naturally were to progress as.
Here are a few reasons why women might be able to feel better about themselves up here…
ALASKA HAS BEEN DOMINATED BY MEN SINCE THE GOLD RUSH
Unlike Aspen, this is not a place where the women “instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano” but rather the men are the salmon — swimming upstream, just a whole country of testoserone who migrated to northand. I think every man I have dated had it on their bucket list to explore Alaska — and that made me feel cozy inside, after all, I was born up there into a 4th generation fishing family, the most rugged of them all. So the whole “AK bucket list” became almost a litmus test of their manlihood and an initiation of them into my life becasue why woudn’t a guy want to visit the most masculine country on earth? Whether you are at sea or on land, you can not escape the stereotype: since Alaska’s Klondike Gold Rush days in the late 1900’s this is still a man’s favorite playground (whether they are making money or not) and they will gleefullly settle with a 7 like she’s a 10.
My little sister is a next-level photographer, here she does a series with her Alaska friends and muses https://www.photobymemry.com/lifestyle/fashion-portraiture/2cdb4ajrthqdfce8veficakv0rrfa6
THERE ARE FEW PLACES LEFT IN THIS WORLD WHERE YOU CAN FEEL UNASSUMINGLY BEAUTIFUL
Alaska is the opposite of, let’s say, Denmark the most crisp clean tall demographics of people (not to mention, largest sperm bank in the world). And I didn’t find this out through Google pics — I went there IRL, baby. Last April and just 3 days in, my friend and I started to feel pretty insecure about all the beauty around us. We half jokingly said things like: “We need to get out of here — I’m starting to feel pretty ugly.” “Same here!” Oh the wieght of not having so many beautiful women around you ((AKA competition))) is a burden lifted when you go to Alaska. Not to say I have not seen beauties — because there are both diamond in the roughs up there and polished diamonds — either way, there are absolutely striking beautiful NATURAL women in Alaska which leads me to my next proclamation…
ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS
An ALASKAN IN FLORIDA: Natural born me (except for my bonde hair), I was just another 27year old “8” in the crowd of beautiful women back in Florida, meanwhile I would probably be like a “12” walking into a men’s locker room up in Alaska.
I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, because, think about it: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, Tiktoks and Youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So, how do we escape? ALASKA.
Where the men are men and so are the women, YOU are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all burly like a man. No, no, there is a caveat to that catch phrase with Alaska having some of the most breathtaking natural beauties, like I already said! My family and I know some of these ladies and Bristol Palin is an example of what most people see in the media (more on her, below). Even my 90 year-old grandma’s skin so smooth, thanks to the lack of sun up there most of the year. They do dude stuff but still look like feminine women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing that phrase: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it (that is also a big chunk of this state). So, you will be a breath of fresh air to these boys (but if you are from Smog ANGELES, then of course you are getting the breath of fresh air).
BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH
Veneers, chin impact, upper bletheroplasty,… and a sprinlkle of something else I’m sure
One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get allthese surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).
WHERE DO I STAND?
I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was. Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.
I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was alway more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.
CONCLUSION
I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.
Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..
The other Theory of Relativity: Natural born beauty (except for my bonde hair), I was just another 27year old “8” in the crowd of a lot more beautiful women back in Florida, meanwhile I would be like a “12” like a woman entering a men’s locker room up in Alaska.
ALASKA IS THE LAND OF PLASTIC SURGERY VIRGINS
I might just be the best PR person for Alaska right now, bc think about: how inundated are we with plastic surgery IG reels, tiktoks and youtube videos on how we can morph our faces to contend with our AI filters? Dammit, we created this problem — it was never a problem before. So how do we escape? ALASKA. Where the mena are men and so are the women, you are sure to stand out, my friend. But mind you, don’t take that in the literal physical sense of a women looking all barely like a man. No no. Let em caveat that catch phrase with Alaska having of the most breathtaking natural beauties! Me and my family knew some of these ladies. They do stuff but still look like a women. And then there is a secondary way of viewing ht phrsez: the women who are doing the dude stuff and look very tomboy and masculine doing it — that is most of ALASKA. You will be a breath of fresh air to these boys — especially if you are coming from Smog Angeles, then of course it is you getting the breath of fresh air.
Lack of sun helps: my 90yr olde grandma’s skin looks better than some half her age down in theAlower 48.
BRISTOL PALIN’S FACE CHANGED WHEN SHE WENT SOUTH
Veneers, chin impact, upper bletheroplasty,… and a sprinlkle of something else I’m sure
One could see the changes in the naturally-beautiful face of Bristol all the way from Russia. Alaska’s first daughter (named after Bristol Bay where her dad fished out of) is what I call “lower48-erized”: plastic surgery seized her psyche as most women in the contigenous states are a victim of such warped beauty culture down here. I think she settled in Arizona years ago and that’s things started to…shift around. I mean, there is just no way she would get all these surgeries and other modifications in Alaska if she was still living full time up there. Alaska is like a fermament against the harsh realities of the Kardashian culture down south: natural is cute when you are preteen but, after that, an inadvertent quest to change your looks at the behest of a multi-billion dollar beauty culture takes hold in the minds of girls. But heck, now women don’t even have to leave Alaska to be tainted by this beautification culture — it’s on their iPhones (thanks to social media).
WHERE DO I STAND?
I think I have a unique perspective on Alaska as I spent almost half the year up there ever since I was born and then in the Lower48 during the school season. It was always refreshing for me to go up to Alaska every year, not because I needed the validation of feeling more beautiful, but because I already knew I was — what nuance! Alaska was just affirming my reality, as down south has been out of touch with reality for years now.
I was spared a lot more comparision than I thought I had already endured in my young tender teenhood and I’m glad Alaska could act as a buffer. For example, I was always more demure compared to my fishing girl peers and I lived between two highly contrasting sentiments (or adages have you): “where the men are men and so are the women” (Alaska) and “where she’s not ugly she’s just broke” (Lower48). Both of these sayings irk me: they are short fringe commentaries on two different areas of America that stereotypes us woman. On one hand you got the rugged woman liberated from the chains of feminine beauty standards and on the other you have this competitive woman forever climbing the ladder of beauty with her deep pockets. I side more with my Alaskan culture but I think there is a healthy pride to how a woman upkeeps herself — the question is, how much is too much? and that is a personal journey for most women. But the Overton Window for plastic surgery normalization has almost passed and now it is no longer a unique thing that a woman does this to herself — it’s commonplace.
CONCLUSION
I would love to say my motherland of Alaska is where plastic surgery dreams go to die because — why need it? The natural look is always in, ladies! If you are on the fence about getting that [insert latest trend surgery or filler] then you might do a paradigm shift when you visit my great state.
Just a small caveat though: Women trying to strategize their dating odds by moving to a whole other state or city, don’t bank on it. The saying “wherever you go, there you are” is true — and so are the men you have been meeting. So, just because you might want to visit Alaska because there are more males up here, may I remind you, “the odds are good but the good are odd.” But heck, all be damned if you don’t at least go back to the Lower48 with more confidence because (well, you know what I already ;tell my friends)…..